Surviving the Holidays: A Gentle Guide for Families

Before I became a parent, I lived for the holidays. No school, no alarms, just time to relax, celebrate, and enjoy the break. But as a parent—especially one supporting a child on the spectrum—I quickly realised it’s not quite the same.

The school holidays can be a minefield of mixed emotions and competing demands. Routines are disrupted, schedules become more flexible (or disappear altogether), and the usual rhythm of daily life gets thrown off.

There’s more downtime, but that doesn’t always feel like a gift.

Add in multiple commitments—managing your child’s needs, keeping the household running, and possibly continuing to work—and it's no surprise that many families feel overwhelmed rather than rested.

For autistic children, this time period can be particularly challenging.

While many children might relish unstructured time, for those on the spectrum, the lack of routine can cause confusion and stress. Individuals with autism often thrive on sameness and predictability. When that consistency disappears, so does their sense of security.

And it’s not just the routine that’s the issue. Holidays often bring new environments, loud gatherings, unfamiliar foods, and shifting expectations. Leisure activities that others might find relaxing can actually be overwhelming or unappealing. Even choosing what to do with their free time—then engaging in it independently—can be an enormous hurdle for some children.

So, what can we do? How do we make the holidays manageable, even meaningful?

🌿 Practical Tips for a More Peaceful Holiday Season:

1. Create a New Routine It doesn’t have to be rigid, but try to build a predictable structure into each day. Wake-up and bedtime routines, meal times, and even a simple plan for the day can provide comfort and clarity.

2. Set Clear Expectations Use visuals, checklists, or simple verbal reminders to outline what’s coming up. Prepare your child in advance for changes, visitors, or outings—this can ease anxiety and reduce resistance.

3. Support Choice and Build Autonomy Involve your child in the process. Recognise that change can be challenging, and approach it as a team. Instead of dictating what will happen and overscheduling the whole holiday, or leaving too much unstructured free time work together to create a plan that feels supportive and manageable for botthe whole family. Providing opportunities for autonomy not only empowers your child, but also creates a sense of structure and control—often the very things they’re seeking. This can significantly reduce stress and make transitions feel more predictable and safe.

4. Seek Out Suitable ActivitiesMany service providers run specialised holiday programs that cater to neurodiverse children. These can offer the structure, social opportunity, and engagement your child might be craving.

5. Balance Activity and Downtime Yes, it’s great to plan some fun and engaging things to do—but it’s equally important to allow quiet, decompressing time. Sensory overload is real, and rest is not laziness—it’s regulation.

6. Support Yourself, Too You matter in this equation. Take a moment to check in with yourself each day. What do you need? Whether it’s a short walk, a quiet coffee, or just five minutes of deep breathing—honour your needs.

7. Be Kind to Yourself You’re juggling a lot. Some days will feel smooth, others not so much. That’s okay. You’re showing up, and that matters more than anything.

8. Reframe the Holidays as a Learning Opportunity You don’t need to aim for perfection. Instead, choose one small, achievable goal for the holidays. Maybe it’s:

• Playing independently for 10 minutes

• Trying a new activity

• Taking turns or sharing attention

Once you know your goal, you can shape your interactions and encouragement around it. And here’s the magic part: where attention goes, connection and growth flow.

The Bottom Line The holidays are different for every family—and it’s okay if your version doesn’t look like the ones on social media. What matters is that you’re doing your best with what you have, and building a space where your child feels supported, safe, and seen.

You’ve got this—and you’re not alone.